Donner Party ends Dependence on Foreign Oil
Party mixes ?Hyper-Localization? and Sustainability
Sacramento, California July 26, 2012 ? Riding waves of attention, adulation and confusion Hairy and Face McSpecies have begun laying out the Donner Party plan to end the United States? reliance on Foreign Oil. ?The answer has been there in front of us this whole time!? announced Face McSpecies during a ribbon cutting ceremony for the most recent Hometown Buffet opening. ?By focusing on growing our own food and eating farmed products closer to where we live, we drastically cut back on the millions of dollars used to grow, treat, package and ship us our daily meals.?
?The Donner Party is proud to launch our EAT LOCALS progam and plan to start rolling it out at local schools and retirement homes in the next few weeks.? Hairy McSpecies shared with reporters during a brief break in the Donner Party national tour.
When further pressed by reporters on how they planned on selecting the lucky ?locals? who would become sustenance, both men hinted that this information would be shared at a later date.
What the hell was I thinking with the inane book?!?! I have no idea but alas no you get to give me some dough in trade for the stories of ten super duper sad animals as they sing their plights to the lyrical lines of Weezer's blue album to you while you color them in.
There's a turtle with a terrible name and he's stuck in a pond with no escape as he's mocked by his fellow pond folk. A monkey that's allergic to fruit and all he want's is a banana.
There's a sloth with a drunk dad of whom blames her for her mother leaving and some nice goats taken for a satanic sacrifice. Also a very kind beluga whale of whom comes home from fishing to find that his boyfriend has become a Juggalo. Kittens, well of course there's kittens, granted they're done with world because it's shit and no one loves them.
Hopefully it's clear that this fine fine piece of literary history is not meant for kids, granted I show my kids anything and they're pretty much raising me at this point.
Hedorah is our fave of Kaiju so of course we'd bust this little gem for you beastly lovers.
Nothing like a good smog french kiss to remind yourself why you've completely compromised your pathetically short life to jangle your dangly bits against this persons. Sweet love!
Buy this card and we'll give you a secret handy next we meat,
All our love,
The Mixed Species guys
Charles Darwin as the original Chuck D! Impress your friends by displaying the mash up of your favorite rapper and evolutionist.
Printed on black American Apparel tshirts in pure water base ink for that super softy feel.
Large size dice bag, hand printed and sewn with the Rainbow Adventurer logo and other work scene.
Bag includes one set of rainbow opaque Chessex dice and box
1-d20, 1-d12, 2-d10%, 1-d8, 1-d6, 1-d4
1 Rainbow Adventure patch
1 Rainbow Adventurer sticker
We finally were able to meld our love of flexibility and our insatiable desire for nitrate laden meat products in this one coloring book!
Join us on this journey for innards peace. You will be learning while you color 14 of the secret poses from Master Yogi Doggie. Be prepared for the Reach Long Foot Long, the Polydong Power Stretch and the Beer Brat to name a few. Once warmed up you might even attempt the Eternity pose. But don't say we didn't warn you.
Illustrated by our lovely and talented Hairy McSpecies these coloring books will brighten anyone's day!
I have seen the light....
and it tried to touch me.
Betwixt these sacred pages you will find the scientifically most proven factiest of facts on what is actually happening in our world right at this very moment. From the masturbation habits of Kirk Cameron to the speaking face of Bea Arthur tattooed on Joe Rogan's left butt cheek, this is hands down the factiest coloring book you can find in the known universe. We spared no expense in traveling the world, bribing political figures, sleeping with fair and unfair and semi inducing semi-fair maidens to bring you this exceptional piece of investigative journalism.
Buy one, two or nine for yourself, six for your crazy brother and fourteen for your grandmother. Spreading the knowledge is the way to free us of the cost of buying brew, thus freeing our bodies of this annoying tight fitting skin and giving way to the patriotic girthiness we so desire.
Fun for hours and educational for all, take it to school, to church, you can even bring it with you to prison after taking it to school and to church.
This is absolutely the best thing that has ever been printed in the history of mankind, don't believe us? Read what the coolest celebs have to say about the Mixed Species dudes coloring book.
Alex Jones "OMG, I just spewed in my jeans and I really enjoyed this coloring book"
Kirk Cameron "Boner, get over here, I'm laughing my balls off reading the Mixed Species dudes coloring book"
Oprah "Book of the month club? Try book of the year club! Everybody gets a car!"
Chris Christie "mfmhnfjhalkjdmfmnfnasdlfknanmsdfnasfm", he was smiling while eating the book and had both of the his twinkie-esq thumbs up.
Ten glorious pages of sacred text rustically bound in a beautiful full color french country artisan cover, stretching to eight and one half by eleven broad luxurious inches.
Fight the Power!
It takes a nation of finches to hold us back!
Our tribute to the original Chuck D is a rare combination of brains and brawn.