Melissa Sconyers (@melissa)

2,354 Followers

214 Friends

Candlelight yoga class. Girl wanders in, weaves around everyone on mats, catches Pokemon, finally looks up. Teacher guilts her into joining.
Shopping in a good outfit is like going to the grocery store when you're hungry: expensive consequences.
'Tis the season for unsubscribing.
When I can't decide how long I should rest, I just spin the roll of numbers in the timer app, like it's nap roulette.
This goat cheese is proof that you can put truffles in almost anything and make me like it.
"I measured the coffee to the meniscus."
Who needs horror movies when there's Google Images?
The only thing worse than no internet is slow internet.
Moving. My boyfriend sees me pack a huge stack of New Yorkers: "Put the iPhone down and read those instead! The movers charge by the pound!"
"Sometimes I think you know more than Google." @cassieboorn
Hiking with boyfriend: "There's a river, but no bridge. I think we can ford it." Me: "Forget it. I died of dysentery; see you back at home."
Inches away from the mirror, I ponder the future of my eyebrows; until I realize my ADD medication has worn off and bedtime was an hour ago.
Couldn't find any scissors, so I just opened a package with the heel of my stilettos.
It's not the number of gigabytes a USB drive has; it's the number of USB drives you have lying around, so as to find one when you need it.
No conflict, no interest.
Sending messages while asleep would be sleep texting, which maybe sounds too close to sexting. Except one has distinctly more zzz than xxx.
Order salad in Paris. Ask for dressing. Waiter will look at the bottles of oil and vinegar on your table and point, which is French for duh.
Trains of thoughts give way to thoughts of trains.
I am a pathological unsubscriber.
Every day is an act of faith when you have curly hair.

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About melissa

Recently relocated to Milan from Hong Kong. Wherever in the world, you'll find me reading the New Yorker and working with Penelope Trunk.

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