Carlo Craig (@craigwoodworks)


1,620 Friends

My balls are gigantic #bigballer #codefail one million pairs in my cart
A taxi just pulled up across the street. In the suburbs? Oh wait, as I'm typing this ANOTHER taxi just pulled up? WTF? Just #uber.
Dude knocks on door. I ask if he's selling something. He says no. I call BS. Of course u are. You go door to door cause u need exercise?
Hey @ClassicalKUSC did you just say "your resistance is futile" before playing Star Wars TFA soundtrack? Sorry, that's the wrong franchise.
His name is f$@king Han Solo. All the so-called journalists calling him Hans, you are all retarded.
That's a sorry attendance for a big game: "The 102nd Rose Bowl... with about 9,000 fans expected to pack the Rose Bowl stadium..." -Reuters
Whoo hoo another field goal! What is this, a baseball game? 6-6. #mnf
Just like Chris Berman, Dick Vitale needs to STFU. TV on mute. #Duke #Indiana
RT @RickBaker58: Would someone please retire Chris Berman? #MNF
RT @ZKamin34: Chris Berman makes me hate life
RT @FlowerShorts: How the hell is Chris Berman making a living by talking
RT @LeeGero: Eight words that make me want to stab my eardrums: "Here is Chris Berman and the Toyota halftime."
RT @OhMyItsAlly: Berman sounds like he’s having a hard time taking a shit.
RT @icecolddavis24: Everyone stops listening and goes to the bathroom as soon as Chris Berman comes on Monday Night Football, right?
RT @brdispatch: Chris Berman is on. Hit the mute button.
I joined the Club! @FiveFour offers stylish, exclusive clothing for $60/month. Take $30 off your first order at
Didn't realize Mozart clarinet concerto had such a high kochel listing at 622, right before he died. Mature Mozart. Good stuff.
Thought about driving with @Uber? Get $150 when you sign up to drive in LA and take 20 trips! Sign up at:

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About craigwoodworks

custom. retro. modern. furniture. etc.

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